Sunday, August 2, 2009

Humbling Heart..

Point to Ponder: It's not about me.

Question to Consider: How can I remind myself today that life is really about living for God, not myself?

The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness. It's far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and abitions.

Reminding myself that life is really about living for God not myself is not at all a question in my life. I do God's will everyday, I take care of my grandma when she is Ill and dying and i humble myself everyday asking for stregnth and doing my best to stay afloat.

My first realization to knowing and understanding that my purpose for my life was for God was when I went through my last adversitie in my life.. which led me to taking care of this man named Donald.. Donald was an older male who was dying of cancer and being decieved by a woman who you can destinguish as a black widow.

Black widow's to my understanding find older men that are dying and usually use them and take advantage of them and kill them so they can have their money or belongings. Donald was always a christian man and I felt that the moment I met him. No matter how upset I was from what it was I was going through i knew that God put me in his life for a reason as well as he put him in mine.

My mind wasn't to clear at the time when i met him I was struggling with losing grandma for years since i was 13 she has always been very Ill. Meeting Don was almost the same for me I knew how to comfort him and make him feel happy I was used to doing that for my grandma. So to encourage Don and to make him smile he had a huge yard and while i stayed with him and took care of him in exchange for room and board I made a vegitable Garden in his yard. He smiled and wanted to give me a set of dishes for helping him which i never took from him just because I was always taught when doing God's work you just don't give to receive you give because your heart tells you to. Because it's the right thing to do.

Seeing Don suffer from cancer and seeing him walk around one min. and the next throwing up and not feeling well and sleeping so much It really was an emotional drain and roller coaster. Although taking care of him has helped with learning how to care for my grandma. But it was a difficult ordeal to try to understand when I was much younger.

I seen him lose his hair and how his family faught over items that belonged to him and how this woman (the black widow) tried so hard to take advantage of him. Using him and playing on his mind. She had met him over a cb radio in Alabama and she met him at a coffee shoppe and told him that they were related cousins and showed him some kind of chart to prove that they were cousins. It was all a lie and decietful trick to get him to write his Last Will and Testament out to her.

Well you'll be happy to know that I wasn't gonna stand by and allow that to happen. I stayed with don in the hospital and i slept on the air conditioned vent lol and on the floor just so i can watch over him. When i could.

His Will was faught in probate by Bobby Junkins of the Alabama Court when he passed on and his family did receive their fathers items. I heard from his Son David that they won the court case which I was pleased to find out.

Which in return just taught me that Family comes first.. no matter how much or whatever you go through with your family they are always the one's right there for you in the end.

I moved back home after that mess.. and i take care of grandma now. I lost everything when i was in alabama my clothes my belongings my keyboard but it was all worth it. God taught me something in that instant that no amount of money or item could gratify or make me happy. I was the only one that could provide my own happiness.

I worked at Kfc Taco bell in hokesbluff awhile and they had no idea what i was going through. I had to wash my uniform over and over again. They almost wore down. I could laugh about it now but it was a horrible learning experience in my life.

My main reason for sharing this story with you is that i have always humbled myself. like the song.. "Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord, And he Will lift you up" Up into heaven and he will lift you up" higher and higher and he will lift you up.

yeah those words seep through my mind every now and then. along with other scriptures and traditions and values i was raised with.

There's a scripture that if someone ask for your tunic you give it to them.. if someone ask to go a mile with you you go two..

I have always been a carying giving and loving woman. But i know and understand the extent of the power that we posess in being this way.. more now than when i was younger.

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