Saturday, August 15, 2009

To my future husband Love Letter -Two

Dear love,

It's been forever since I've heard from you. Not a single word of your well being. It's been cold and distant without you. We have been thus far seperated by miles. As I lay still in the night watching romantic movies and wonder on days of the past. Where you and I would sit amongst the poppy fields, everything seemed animated as we laughed at eachothers laugh.

No more kisses or tender caresses I've waited oh so long. I could almost hear you declarying your professed words of undying love. I wondered if you meant them. Your distinctive scent lingers upon my bewildered heart. I could almost see the taste of your kisses so haunting.

As I write these intimate letters to you. One could hope that someday you'll receive them and in return I pray that you will write back.

I could only hope that you realize that in this dire need of passion that it's you that I turn to.

In closing im all together embraced and sustained by the thought of knowing your love.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

"The Prostitute's Dream of Living Large"

The faithful whore indeed.
A foul decaying body, fiending,
Huge brown eyes, with a stench so raw
Layers of yellow tar on her skin,
blood scars underneath the nail beds,
A taste of nicotine, profound
to the touch of fingertips.

Oh' Sally Sticksler, the prostitute on
St. Peter's Street. A beautiful lady
whose dreams were lost
in the storm.

Beaten, bruised, almost dead,
no one cares where
she laid her head.

Yo' Miss Sally Twenty-Dollar tricks for a fix.
Buy you a house to live in,
but twenty dollars you have to give.

Feed and Supply your needs,
"Now! Whore! Get on your Knees!"

Commen't-allez Vous, Madam, a diverse clientele.
Night falls as the moon
lights up the dark. The cold
breeze warms her body, a tinglin'
of crippling hands. Breaking her back
making the dough. Closes her
eyes, she's flying high.

Elizabeth, looks at me
with regret and tears.
I'm sorry Elizabeth
for the lies. Of living
high and spendin' big, livin'
under the bright lights.

Mr. Dawson's night club alley way,
a trafficking joint, I'm alright,
I'm on high ground now, closer
to death than I've been before.

Body sprawled upon the ground,
covered in beer and piss
from the trash and the night before.

Livin' under the big bright
lights I didn't lie.

Vous-lez Vous Cliche' Avec Moi Achez-sois?

the bell
has rung,
It calls to me.

Scouring to get up,
fill this beautiful lady's cup.
The church near by rings
its bells and hears my cries.

The Beautiful lady's raging storms through life.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Weeping Willow Tree

Weeping willow tree come dance
with me. Hear earth's cries,
a symphony. Dashing through the storms.

Weeping Willow tree marks its day
through summers glow, with leaves of golden
brown, orange and of red, hither to the ground.

Weeping Willow tree come dance
with me, singing bird songs
of whistling sounds of beauty on high.

Weeping Willow tree don't you cry.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Blissful thoughts.. of a RockStar's Edge!

I picture it like this.. your life.. my inspiration

Round the bend of to and fro
well go together to see a show
another day of counting crows
singing songs, lets rock and roll

droping beats so fresh and fast
living on two hours rest, make it last
Burning eyes and relentless nights
waking up to flashing lights

singing songs of oh' american pride
Lingering hang overs, lost lyrics
lovely women out of reach
taking in breath's large and deep

triggered memories of stage fright
stoping to have a drink, see a bar fight
on the road long and wide
drifters as we pass them by

Lonely nights of endless dreams
empty pockets and no other means
bleeding hearts and american styles
adoring groups of crying fans, come miles

Blister'd days of tireless stands
braided hair and some lost strands
blinking lights and loud crash sounds
amplifiers booming pesky pounds
the smell of whisky and of whine
yo' brother that cups mine

smoke filled air of weed and ciggs
off we go to another gig
eating fried chicken again and again
different town different friends
salads yuck! some soggy some not so fresh
different salads i love ceasar best

sometimes sneaking in chilli cheeze fries
putting extra pounds on my thighs
and texas hot dogs, tummy aches
where's the bathroom? there's the lake.
onion rings and sticky fingers
oh the smells of gas and food lingers.

this is my take of your tour
one to three im ready for round four!
take that ride and survive this trip
another grasp another grip.
hold on tight its gonna be a long fight
now's the time where i say goodnight.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

The SunSets In Your Eyes

My Dearest Love,

neither words.. nor sounds.. nor music can express such elaberated feelings...that overwhelm my body with thoughts of you..

It isn't the way the soap carresses my hands as i wash them ..
it isn't the softness of a kiss.. but dare.. i say it is like the warmness of the sun as it sets in your eyes and beats on my skin.. as your heart beats in tune with my passions.

The emotions overtake my mind.. and with every dream .. like an artist that paints her picture I paint with each stoke of thought...

So when I dream.. I dream of you..

The darkeness is usually cold when you are away..
but the thoughts of you keep me warm when you stay

If It is written in the stars.. that we are destined to be
then my dream is bound to become reality.

My blood tingles to the sweet melody of the wavs of the air that you breathe out. Like flowers it is the erotic fragrance that entrapts me and brings me back when i am lost.

So when i dream .. I dream of you..

If it is said that I am your angel then so it shall be known that you are my wings that I depend on to fly.

If you are one for knowledge of what the heart tells you then my heart is longing to be..your sanctification.

Like the forbidden fruit.. Let me be your tempter..
As it is my hearts desire to shamlessly take all your purifications.

so when I dream .. I dream of you..

I want my joy.. I want my heart.. I want my love I want my baby...
In this i want you and all of you and as i take that bite.. of long lusting thirst I sleep in fullness.. from the drains of my
of my ever overflowing chills embraced by you.

so when i dream .. i dream of you.

I love you.

Rags to Riches -Grandma's Story

Grandma’s Story

“This is a true life story of my Grandma that she wrote
when she was younger”

Your probably wondering why this title you will know as I go on, with the story of my life. My life was not a pretty life, it was sad and of suffering. When I was born in 1934, I was born with a skin disease called Exyma from my head to my toes. I was one big scab. My father always took care of me. My father was the one who took me to the general hospital wrapped in a sheet, so people would not look at me because I looked terrible. But I remember one day when I was 9 years old, I woke to my mothers crying while I slept my father had been rushed to the hospital where he died. I was so hurt cause he had left me and I had 5 brothers and 2 sisters, that didn’t want to be around me because of my skin. So I grew up Isolated. When I was 13 years old a doctor took interest in me and put me in the hospital and started giving me treatments at 15 I had brand new skin, Long hair down to my knees. But I still felt hurt and angry, but at God more than anyone, when I turned 18 years old I was engaged to be married, my boyfriend was in the paratroopers then, he was in anchorage Alaska, one month before he was to come home so we could marry, he and 3 others drowned in his jeep. Again I felt that hurt and I was really angry at God. So at that time all my friends had gotten married so I married a friend of my brothers. Only to be beaten and left pregnant every time he went to jail. I had 2 girls 4 years old and 2 years old and I was 8 months pregnant when my husband was sent to prison for life I was happy for this. But once again when I gave birth to my son they found cancer I was so angry, I had never prayed or read a bible. But I prayed as well as I knew how, and I told God to forgive me for being so angry at him for taking my father and for all that was happening to me in life. I had only 6 months to live when this happened then I prayed. All of a sudden a couple of days later I felt different I felt free but I didn’t feel sick anymore. I went for a physical and no more trace of cancer. Why Rag’s to Riches? I was 30 years old when I got healed. My life is so different sine I took jesus as my savior.
He is my best friend he is the one only, who took the raggity way that I felt and gave me riches. By riches I mean I feel good about myself, I know that I have a lot to offer others, I don’t put people down I help lift them up.
Another good thing that’s new in my life is Chavez & Associates. Mr. Magnus, you have helped me so much cause sometimes when you spoke loud to me, I didn’t know what to do cause no one ever did that to me, without me yelling back but you see those are the Riches I have in me I can take it and I will make it. I have grown more and I feel so sure of myself that I’m going to make it. I don’t mean to preach but I want people to know that there is nothing impossible in life. I was determined to live and I did, now I am determined to make it in this field. Thank you Lupe.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Humbling Heart..

Point to Ponder: It's not about me.

Question to Consider: How can I remind myself today that life is really about living for God, not myself?

The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness. It's far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and abitions.

Reminding myself that life is really about living for God not myself is not at all a question in my life. I do God's will everyday, I take care of my grandma when she is Ill and dying and i humble myself everyday asking for stregnth and doing my best to stay afloat.

My first realization to knowing and understanding that my purpose for my life was for God was when I went through my last adversitie in my life.. which led me to taking care of this man named Donald.. Donald was an older male who was dying of cancer and being decieved by a woman who you can destinguish as a black widow.

Black widow's to my understanding find older men that are dying and usually use them and take advantage of them and kill them so they can have their money or belongings. Donald was always a christian man and I felt that the moment I met him. No matter how upset I was from what it was I was going through i knew that God put me in his life for a reason as well as he put him in mine.

My mind wasn't to clear at the time when i met him I was struggling with losing grandma for years since i was 13 she has always been very Ill. Meeting Don was almost the same for me I knew how to comfort him and make him feel happy I was used to doing that for my grandma. So to encourage Don and to make him smile he had a huge yard and while i stayed with him and took care of him in exchange for room and board I made a vegitable Garden in his yard. He smiled and wanted to give me a set of dishes for helping him which i never took from him just because I was always taught when doing God's work you just don't give to receive you give because your heart tells you to. Because it's the right thing to do.

Seeing Don suffer from cancer and seeing him walk around one min. and the next throwing up and not feeling well and sleeping so much It really was an emotional drain and roller coaster. Although taking care of him has helped with learning how to care for my grandma. But it was a difficult ordeal to try to understand when I was much younger.

I seen him lose his hair and how his family faught over items that belonged to him and how this woman (the black widow) tried so hard to take advantage of him. Using him and playing on his mind. She had met him over a cb radio in Alabama and she met him at a coffee shoppe and told him that they were related cousins and showed him some kind of chart to prove that they were cousins. It was all a lie and decietful trick to get him to write his Last Will and Testament out to her.

Well you'll be happy to know that I wasn't gonna stand by and allow that to happen. I stayed with don in the hospital and i slept on the air conditioned vent lol and on the floor just so i can watch over him. When i could.

His Will was faught in probate by Bobby Junkins of the Alabama Court when he passed on and his family did receive their fathers items. I heard from his Son David that they won the court case which I was pleased to find out.

Which in return just taught me that Family comes first.. no matter how much or whatever you go through with your family they are always the one's right there for you in the end.

I moved back home after that mess.. and i take care of grandma now. I lost everything when i was in alabama my clothes my belongings my keyboard but it was all worth it. God taught me something in that instant that no amount of money or item could gratify or make me happy. I was the only one that could provide my own happiness.

I worked at Kfc Taco bell in hokesbluff awhile and they had no idea what i was going through. I had to wash my uniform over and over again. They almost wore down. I could laugh about it now but it was a horrible learning experience in my life.

My main reason for sharing this story with you is that i have always humbled myself. like the song.. "Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord, And he Will lift you up" Up into heaven and he will lift you up" higher and higher and he will lift you up.

yeah those words seep through my mind every now and then. along with other scriptures and traditions and values i was raised with.

There's a scripture that if someone ask for your tunic you give it to them.. if someone ask to go a mile with you you go two..

I have always been a carying giving and loving woman. But i know and understand the extent of the power that we posess in being this way.. more now than when i was younger.


"Clingyness", the scourge of non-doting boyfriends
Everywhere, is a toxic brew of jealousy, neediness, dependency,
And insecurity. In short, home girl has separation anxiety. She desperately wants to be your number one priority, And she'll drown your new puppy if he gets in her way. "While men tend to be jealous of potential Sexual rivals, women tend to be jealous of time and attention," Says charles T. Hill, professor of psychology at Whittier College So devote every waking moment to this needy nut job or dump her and move on Right?

Hold your horny horses sheriff-it could be more scientific
Than that. A recent, and totally awesome University of Washington's
Study found that certain proteins in seminal Fluid are transferred to women during sex. On a hormonal level These sly proteins may dampen her interst in other males While heightening her attraction and possibly psychotic neediness For you. It's like sperm hypnosis : look into our are getting Veeeery sleepy....

This article was taken from maxim magazine issue may2009 issue..only re typed
And posted to get your response thank you.