Thursday, April 29, 2010

“Relationship Advisors” “Snort”

I never understood how women/men could be jealous of someone else’s relationship. I guess it could be because they are having their own difficulties in their own relationships.

Men and women will always find something that they are not happy with in their relationship rather than focus on the good things that they have. They tend to focus on what others have instead of making memories of their own.

My opinion is everyone is either afraid of what they don’t know and or want what they can’t obtain.

Let’s examine some of “the people who care” on twitter, care…? about what? “My well being?”

“When is it beyond the call of the duty as a friend and crossing the boundaries of counseling?”

“You say you’re a counselor.. where’s your certification?” “Your degree?”

“What makes you more special than me what entitles you to know more than I do about my own relationship?”

When I asked pauls opinion he took his Bluetooth ear piece out and farted in it and said

“That’s my thoughts of the matter” Paul is un-following entire cliques of gossip filled m*ther f*ckers as he puts it.  

Paul said to me yesterday “Why would women you never want to fuck give relationship advice to those who are?”

I wouldn’t put things so bluntly because there are two sides of the coin. If you invite people into your life and share your stories with them of course they always want to advise you. What you shouldn’t do and what you should do? Offer their opinion.

But isn’t there anything that can be done for these type of friends? Who don’t know the boundaries of psychology and friendship when is it wrong to dissect your friends relationship? How do you know that they aren’t upset that you are prying?

"Counselors must make every effort to avoid dual relationships with clients that could impair their professional judgment or increase the risk of harm to clients. When a dual relationship cannot be avoided, counselors must take appropriate steps to ensure that judgment is not impaired and that no exploitation occurs."

"Recognize the trust placed in and unique power of the therapeutic relationship.”

“While acknowledging the complexity of some counseling relationships, avoid exploiting the trust and dependency of clients.”

Avoid those “dual” relationships sexual and non sexual with clients (e.g., business or close personal relationships) which could impair your professional judgment, compromise the integrity of the treatment, and/or use the relationship for our own gain."
Crossing this line can be dangerous.”
 Most states have well-defined training and certification requirements for individuals seeking a license to perform counseling dealing with mental health and emotional well-being. Performing those services without a license you can violate a state's certification requirements.
An influential article, widely-cited in several literature and ethics cases, that proposed the disticnction between boundary crossings and boundary violations, described how to assess each boundary crossing on a case-by-case basis that takes into account the context and situation-specific facts, and that explored diverse boundaries such as role, time, place and space, money, gifts, services, clothing, language, self-disclosure, and physical contact.
The reason for this blog is not because I’m angry or upset, and want to lash out at all counselors for the many times MANY MANY times counselors have crossed the boundaries with me.
One when this intern at work whom I felt sorry for because her fiancé left her, I took her to Best buy to buy a cd of music to make her happy and cheer her up she cursed me out through the entire store causing me to vomit some suppressed things that had happened to me.
I can’t recall the whole situation because I just don’t remember maybe because I would rather not remember it was just a bad experience.
Secondly amongst twitter we have a counselor who I felt had an interest in my boyfriend and was telling me to break up with him and that he was not good for me offering this sound advice all the while … she was following my boyfriend and then chose one day to un-follow him and myself and then re-follows us the next day.
Of course I didn’t follow back and I don’t plan on it. But those are two examples.
Thirdly Doctors to me are like counselors.. they have to keep a certain level of professionalism amongst twitter and I ran into this OBGYN who I thought oh I could trust with some personal questions about the rape that I had experienced well because I had a disagreement with one of her fellow followers, she threatened to go on the grid with my personal questions.
How if I can’t go to a professional with something personal how do you EXPECT ME to trust you! How do you expect me to build trust??? A friendship.. ?? is there something wrong here? Are you listening to me..??
DON’T COUNSEL ME! I don’t need your counseling I need a friend! Someone who will listen but not offer their opinion someone willing to let me be WHO I AM.. who I want to be.. not someone willing to change me.
“This is not let’s construct someone’s life today”
If anything social media, twitter, and friendships that are built through twitter are tools for marketing, networking, and launching a business.
“Keep Twitter Professional!”
“Remember your Role as a friend vs. your role as a counselor”
“Decide what you want to be in my life before you tweet to me about my relationship, a professional advisor or a friend?”
“These are the Boundaries and that is why there are Rules!”

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