I come to you today because I have no one else to tell my secrets to nor do I wish to share them with anyone else. I always write letters of love and never of the pain and this one, this letter is about the pain that I suffer when you are away. Forgive me this once for the negativity, as I flourish in words….
It is not easy to be absent from you without pain. The feelings of love I’ve suppressed in fears that when the day comes to greet you I will be unable to sustain them. Rushing into your arms wind through my hair and pushing through crowds to see you once again. To kiss your tender lips, soft sweet chocolate lips. Out of the depths of my bewildered heart flows a tangible current of love, streaming through tears. Tears set free, form such a yearning to hold, see, touch, feel, and hear you.
As I sit here I pondered many thoughts of the time that I have shared with you. We’ve grown together and you’ve been my strong hold. I sit beneath the dim light of the lamp and the coolness of the evening and amongst the many shadows in this dark moment and I miss you.
My heart is heavy dear, with wonders of you and the day you’ve yet to be in my life forever. I envy the flowers of the garden that you’ve once walked amongst in my dreams, because the flowers stand so sweet yet so strong and alive. My dreams without you are tedious like a slow death, I awake at times with great sorrow and disappointment.
I sit during a portion of my nights lost in this deep sadness of wonders. Wondering, of the day you’ve yet to write me back. You never write to me at all. You have not even made any effort to smudge not even a speckle of ink on a sheet of paper.
Pushing away my love, and all that is of me and in me and expressed passionately in every second of every moment of time with you. I sit here and I go through these photographs you’ve shared with me. I seek each one with answers, and it becomes stifling in the heart.
You've left me with this passion like a cougar that awaits her meal I peacefully go about continuously with such valor. In hopes that as I encounter this pain that I am able to face it with such frankness and bravery.
I shall end this letter with these thoughts. You have taken all real pain out of my life even during the deepest darkest most horrifying times you are with me. Your memory clings to me like an old book with its torn pages it still has its history and I feel an utmost gladness in these fond moments.
Sincerely, Your Wife – Sarah Saldana
Below is the song that inspired this letter... Enjoy!