Monday, February 14, 2011

Daddy’s Girl

**My Opinion Piece**

“The family you come from isn’t as important as the family you’re going to have”
Ring Lardner

How many of you men and honestly live your life thinking about the things you’ve done to many women that you regret? I mean I sit here and I think about the ex boyfriends I’ve had. I haven’t had any real “Good” boyfriends in my life at all. As for men I really haven’t had anyone to really look up to that aspired greatness, for me most of the men including family members have made their own mistakes and lived their own life. I could never look at them in a different light than what they have shed. Some have done drugs and have been in jail some have died to obesity and my biological father well we won’t go there. Even my step-father who lived with me during my younger years did not appeal to me as a father more of just a man who lived with us a dad. There is a difference, not too many men in my life have been the model of a “GOOD man”.

“How can you give her what you’ve never experienced?” - Sarah Saldana

I’m wondering if they thought about their children how their daughters would feel if they were treated this way. If “boys” didn’t take your daughter and open the door for her when they took her out to eat or if they didn’t keep their promises or if they weren’t honest with them.  I mean if you had a daughter and she was coming to you and she cried her heart out and said “daddy, that boy broke my heart“. What are the things you would tell your daughter? What would you tell your son? I mean boys go through this too…. Not just girls they hurt and cry and lash out because they don’t know how to deal with things. Not excluding adults but that’s my whole point if we could some how change this from the root with the parents attitude and discipline ourselves to be better at this just at treating people better treating ourselves better. Then maybe our children won’t suffer the same things we’ve suffered.

They won’t be “Co-dependent”, “Needy”, “Self-centered” or have a low self esteem. How long does it take to heal from a broken heart? Are you allowing enough time between coming out of a relationship and moving into the next one? My ideal is to talk about it through the entire course of just getting to know someone one month two months three months …. After 3 months you should at least be able to say this bothers me can we talk about it.

I mean the girl starts out wishing and hoping and dreaming for a perfect romance and being married to the right man and she finds herself divorced taking care of kids alone with dogs eating ice cream and gaining weight. What kind of example is this for your children? What type of women meets men on a daily basis and different one’s at that… going from man to man figuring this is the right one… this time this one will be the last one, only to be broken and hurt again because she’s placed her trust into this man. I’ve witnessed a mother who neglected her son to date men she met at night clubs.” it happens a lot it’s just not talked about in the open.

I’ve dedicated my life to the Lord again and all my questions have been answered they have been there all along I wondered these things not because of my past experiences but because of my future what was going to happen to my life. Would I be single for the rest of my life is that what I want? Or do I plan on making my life with someone and living with them, the question I come to all the time Morals and Values vs. Real time experiences sure I was raised to not live with a man until he marry’s me. I was raised to not have a child with a man out of wed lock. I see these men on twitter tweet contradictions of themselves one minuet tweeting “#Ladies if a man loves you he’s not going to do this to you…. Blah blah blah” yes I read them! And then I turn around and I see that same “BOY” I won’t even call him a man tweeting “You fat bitches you get what you want this is how it is” I mean come on now!

“Accept others without condition. It’s the very essence of love” - Linda Allison Lewis

Then you have the audacity to question my stance on my belief!!!?!?!? “What the What!!!” any how this isn’t about them this blog is about me, it’s about my walk with God I realized the only man the ONLY ONE MAN that has been with me the course of my birth and my life has been God. He is my father  my unborn son my husband my rod and staff he is my strength. He teaches me through his word and guides me through the day through others. He has put people in my life that have shared the word with me and one of the things I had struggled with was being “UNEQUALLY YOLKED“! Some of you may not know the term but I was taught that being “unequally yoked” has a lot to do with relationships.

It basically in lame terms as I understand it means that your husband, significant other, boyfriend whatever who ever is in your love life at that time does not believe in the same belief you do. It could be a number of things he could be catholic or a Satanist, a non believer all the while you have your belief system and it’s not the same as his. Which causes confusion.

How to address these issues before further getting involved with someone before you  move on to girlfriend boyfriend status. I would address any issues by questioning and asking point blank what is it that you like what is it that you don’t like what can you deal with and what just right out gets you so upset you want to scream. I think in between what is your favorite color, food, song… there should be at some point a discussion about beliefs.  There is so much more than just getting to know someone on a basic level there is the cultural differences, and family and geographically being able to be with someone in question. I mentioned to a good friend of mine that “Gentlemen” means bond of household in German I believe that man that you decided to be with for the rest of your life should be the bond the glue that holds together that family who wants better for their family who servers God with all his heart because if the man in the house is serving the Lord then so will his family. If the man goes to church then so will his family.


I can honestly say no, I don’t think it’s easy for me to trust men in my life, because I’ve been hurt by so many. Frankly I don’t want to trust you I don’t have too trust you. I don’t OWE you my trust! I don’t think it’s easy for any rape victim or anyone for that matter to trust men when she’s been hurt to the point where she’s yelling and her skin tears and she’s crying and she has no idea what actually just happened to her body. You can’t force someone who has gone through this to trust you or anyone for that matter. In my opinion you don’t know what everyone’s been through in their life and if they don’t share these things with you then you will never know another part of getting to know someone. God loves me as I am there is no explaining to him he understands he sees all he knows all and to him I have given my trust and my pain and have survived these things learned from them and gained experienced from them.


God asks me to love his son and this is why when I pray I say “In Jesus Name Amen”.

John 14:1 Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.

How can we say that we love Him, if we don't trust Him? And how can we love him and not his son imagine not loving your family this way.


To be the way, the truth, the life (enough to put our souls in His hands)? - Jn 14:6

To be the provider of our daily needs (enough to put the kingdom first)? - Mt 6:33

How do you express your love for the Lord, do you delight in his company? When you love someone you love being with them you enjoy being with them. Can you imagine someone loving Jesus but not wanting to be with him? We also often demonstrate love by talking about him and through our works. You can tell a person who has God in their hearts not only through praise and worship but by living accordingly to his word.


Just as parents suffer trying to make it day by day putting food on the table and working hard to survive. Providing a safe environment for their children. This is love a love from real parents who want the best for their children. The love goes beyond providing a roof over their head and food on the table you have to nourish your child with good fruitful words that will help them grown and become the Ladies and Men that are successors! Are you raising your kids to succeed or are you neglecting them ignoring them not spending time with them?

People are willing to jeopardize their lives for loved ones I want to jeopardize my love for the Lord I know he has for me he showed his love by dying for my sins. How much more jeopardy can you show than that? Even a dog will risk his life to save his master. But no man will ever Love me like my father God in Heaven!

Happy Valentines day Father you are the only man the only  man I know in my life that has been worthy of my Love!!! In Jesus Name I pray Amen!

1 comment:

  1. I just had an experience today with a few men at a restaurant that were disrespectful towards me. I was more upset that no other man stood up and said something to them about the way they were talking to me. I was more upset about that than at the men who were doing it.

    What happened to honorable men? They seem to be a rare breed. I came home and immediately used it as a teachable moment to my sons (16 & 10). I told them that if they ever see a woman/girl being disrespected, they are to stand up for her and honor her. Hopefully something good will come out of the experience and they learned something from it.